Editing Response: A Client’s Email

I received this email a few days ago from a client and was quite blessed by it. I asked for permission to reprint it here and to use it as a testimonial. I have to say I have not worked on this type of project before and it was a real learning experience. I want to send my thanks to Suzette for picking me to edit her card game and support material. I look forward to see it published and made available. I do believe that it will help many troubled relationships.

Thursday, September 13, 2012 10:36 AM

Ron,

Thanks so much for editing my books. I really appreciate your honesty, knowledge, and encouragement. I need that in order to make this collection the best it can be without spending thousands of dollars. I love your ability to teach, your flexibility, and that these books are not your typical subject. I think if someone who only read self-help were editing, they couldn’t give me the best input due to their familiarity. Writing can be such a grueling process that I wanted to give up, but after hiring you it was like an angel strengthened me. Finally, I feel the confidence I needed to be proud of my work.

Thank you,
Suzette, author of the Rock Talk Collection

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Writers: Eliminating Wordiness

I recently did a blog post on being wordy and word choices. I found this great article buried over at the Ball State University JD Writing Center. Although very simple, I think that ties into my orginal post and completes the thought. I was unable to determine the author of the work, but I thought it worth a re-post here. Whoever wrote thing did us a great service. Thank you!

-Ron

ELIMINATING WORDINESS
By Author Unknown

Do not repeat a word unless you need it again for clarity or emphasis.

WORDY: When I was a child, my favorite relatives were the relatives who treated me like a grown-up.
REVISED: When I was a child, my favorite relatives treated me like a grown-up.

Avoid redundancy. Don’t say the same thing twice using different words or phrases.

WORDY: The hero begins to behave strangely and in odd ways following his tryst with a witch he meets secretly at midnight.
REVISED: The hero begins to behave strangely following his midnight tryst with a witch.

In general, don’t start sentences with There is, There are, or There were.

WORDY: There are many ways in which we can classify houses.
REVISED: We can classify houses in many ways.

Avoid cluttering sentences with nouns.

WORDY: The reason for George’s refusal to be a member of the secret society was his dislike of its elitism.
REVISED: George refused to join the secret society because he disliked its elitism.

Remove adjective clauses like who are, which was, and that were.

WORDY: The antique dealer who is on Allen Street has a pair of silver candlesticks that were designed by Paul Revere.
REVISED: The antique dealer who is on Allen Street has a pair of silver candlesticks designed by Paul Revere.

Replace prepositional phrases with single adjectives or adverbs.

WORDY: She regarded me in a stern way.
REVISED: She regarded me sternly.

Remove “to be” whenever possible.

WORDY: Vince Lombardi was considered to be an excellent football coach.
REVISED: Vince Lombardi was considered an excellent football coach.